Preparing For Your Child That Is In Heaven’s Birthday
One Heavenly Birthday - Happy 1st Birthday Chesni Lynne. Mommy & Daddy love you!
For some celebrating a child’s birthday that is in Heaven may look like staying home in bed all day. For some, it may look like taking a trip to a place they loved or you thought they would love. It may look like sitting at the graveyard for hours on end. It may look like getting a birthday card for them and it may not. It may look like throwing a party to celebrate their special day with your closest family and friends. It may look like decorating their grave and it may not
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The thing is, it doesn’t matter. However you choose to celebrate their birthday is up to you and your spouse & other children if you have them. It doesn’t make you love them any less or make you think their birthday is any less special. The truth is you’re just trying to survive the day. Whatever that may look like.
For my husband and I, we chose to have a party to celebrate Chesni’s first birthday. We wanted to spend time with family and friends and honor Chesni in that way this year. Now that doesn’t mean we will do a party every year. For all we know, this could be the only time we ever do one, but then again it may not be. We will just follow whatever our hearts desire each year as we approach March 9th.
My heart was especially heavy for doing this party. I was set on it. Before Chesni passed I had already planned out most of how we would celebrate her birthday. I planned on the theme being “Holy Cow I’m One”, I booked our location, had my day picked out, decorations planned out on Pinterest, food planned out on my Pinterest board. I even had thought about what we may get her for her birthday…. I was pretty set on a cute little play kitchen or maybe some more musical toys, as she loved music so much… or maybe even both!
In the blink of an eye, all of these plans seemed so far out of reach. I still had hope that we would get to celebrate her first birthday with her, but unfortunately, that was not God’s plan.
Instead, we began trying to navigate a life where Chesni wasn’t physically in it. We began planning a party that we knew Chesni could not physically be at. It felt silly at times. Any time we told anybody I felt like I could crawl under a rock. My heart sank to my feet. I feared what people would think. Would they think I was a crazy person for throwing a party for my child who is in Heaven? Would people show up to a first birthday party where there would be no smash cake, no presents to open, and no cute little baby to play with? You see, God placed this on my heart, but the devil tried his hardest to steal the slightest bit of joy I was able to find in planning this in honor of Chesni. There were many days where I said I don’t know if I can do this. Where I wanted to say forget it, it doesn’t matter anymore. Days where I was so overwhelmed by just the thought of Chesni’s birthday approaching, much less the stress of planning a birthday party.
But in my grief, my brokenness, in my anxiousness and in my fear, God never left my side. Not even for a second. For He is faithful. He will never leave us, nor forsake us!
I am so thankful for God’s never ending grace, love and compassion. Because of Him, we were able to celebrate Chesni’s “One Heavenly Birthday” with minimal tears, several smiles, and with our loved ones.
We know she had a far better birthday than we could’ve ever given her. Our hearts long for the day we get to celebrate her birthday with her. 🩷