I often hear moms fussing about how messy their house is, and let’s be real… I’ve done it too. But everytime I did, I was instantly taken back to the moment I was first told Chesni likely wouldn’t make it earthside. Changing our perspective changes everything. Instead of complaining about the endless piles of laundry, the overflowing sink & the lack of sleep, I turned those into moments to thank God for allowing me to have those dirty clothes, dirty bottles, dirty syringes & pump parts. God didn’t have to allow me to have those things, but He did. He saw fit for me to physically be Chesni’s mom for 7 months and 1 day. What a blessing!! Every single second of every single day of her life was nothing short of a blessing!! She was our miracle baby.
I often find myself wishing I had one more load of baby clothes to wash, one more bath to give, more more bottle to wash, one more 3am feed, one more 12am med to give and so much more. Tonight I’m wishing I was so gently placing my baby in her swing with the intention of getting some of these chores done, only to sit and stare at every perfect ounce of her.
Tonight my heart is broken as I sit and stare at an empty swing. A swing that holds so many precious memories from the 8 weeks we got to spend with our baby in OUR house. A swing that will likely always hold the last swaddle we had in there with her.
So I encourage you, when you are overwhelmed by the chaos of motherhood, when exhaustion and frustration start to creep in, take those moments to thank God one more time for allowing you to still be able to physically care for your child here on Earth. We never think losing a child will be our story, until it is. 🤍